Dan vs Espionage
by BlackShadowScythe
Summary: Elise's boss Eagle's Nest has died of a heart attack... or did he? Under the assumption that her boss was murdered, Elise heads out to find his killer and maybe a little more about the mysterious man she has been working under for last few years.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Dan vs. Pancakes

Elise vs. Assassin

* * *

**Chris's House**

"I've been wronged Chris! Horribly wronged!" Dan cried, barraging into Chris's bedroom. Chris, who was still asleep let out a little groan. "Get up Chris!" Dan shouted, shaking his best friend back and forward across the bedroom. "I said get up!" He shoved Chris onto the floor and he woke up with a start.

"What?" he said, sitting up with a start and looking around the room. "Oh hey Dan." he mumbled, scratching his head and then going back to sleep, not even noticing that he was lying on the floor.

"Don't hey me! Put on your clothes, we have a major problem!" Dan growled.

"No, you have a major problem." Chris said still not opening his eyes, "Elise and I were-" he stopped mid-sentence and looked at the other side of the bed. Elise was gone. "Hey, where did she go? She said we were going to see a movie today."

"Who cares!" Dan cried, throwing his arms in the air, "She's gone alright?! She probably left you for that Colby guy."

"She wouldn't do that." Chris insisted, although he didn't sound entire convinced. "Would she?"

"Told you not to get married." Dan said, "Now come on, we have work to do. But first things first, go make me some pancakes."

* * *

**Chris's House (2 hours ago...)**

Elise woke up with a start. Her intercom bracelet was beeping quietly. She put her hand over the bracelet in an effort to dampen the sound, then got out of bed and tip-toed into the living room, being careful not to wake her husband. When she got to the living room she plopped down on the couch and pushed a button on the bracelet. "Talk to me." she said, then added, "but keep it down."

"Dancing Shadow we have a situation." a familiar voice said, though it was not the one she had been expecting. "This is Agent Bro-face. Please report to HQ immediately. For your convenience, we are sending a helicopter to your location."

"Roger that." Elise whispered, "As long as its on sheath mode. Dancing Shadow out."

* * *

**HQ of an Unnamed Government Agency (Present)**

Elise hadn't been to the HQ since she had first joined the agency and even that she only recalled because Eagle's Nest had once told her he had wiped her memory of the event. Eagle's Nest was the mysterious voice behind most of her assignments aka the guy who signed her pay checks. The agency was responsible for eliminating foreign threats. They managed to maintain the cover of the "good guys" but Elise was aware of their shady dealings and even on occasion participated in them herself. The agency was responsible for 90% of weapons used in third world countries and mass produced a secret stash of weapons of mass destruction. With the resources they had at their disposal, they had managed to keep the world's governments and economies under their pinkie finger for more than 40 years.

The agency had been founded by the late and original Eagle's Nest, whose name and identity remained unknown to this day. He had started the agency in the late 1960s as a way to stop the spread of communism. Similar agencies were established at around the same time in Germany and Russia, both to serve the opposite cause. She had even heard rumors of a new branch stationed in the middle east.

Although Elise didn't remember ever meeting Eagle's Nest in person she had spoken to him many times through the intercom, video chat (or rather voice chat), etc and she took the fact that he hadn't called her himself as evidence that something big was going down.

She walked into his office and saluted, "Reporting for duty sir." A familiar face stared back at her. "Agent Broface?" What's going on?" she said suspiciously.

Agent Broface stared at Elise. He was a short man with an overabundant head of hair. His usually serious expression was masked with a second layer of graveness which gave him the overall appearance of a stone statue.

"Eagle's Nest is dead."

"What...?"

* * *

**Chris's House**

"So what's on the menu today?" Chris asked, turning on the stove and digging though the cabinets for a frying pan.

"I already told you pancakes!"

"I meant about revenge."

"Oh that." Dan said, as this toned shifted into rage and his face grew red all of a sudden. "They canceled my show!"

"The Adventures of Population Control Johnny?"

"Yes! And we are going to make them pay somehow! I haven't figure out how yet!" He turned his focus back on pancakes. "Urgh! What's taking so long."

"Hey! I just started." Chris protested.

"Well hurry up!"

* * *

**Eagle's Nest's Former Office**

"That's not possible." Elise said and laughed a bit.

"Dancing Shadow this is a serious situation." Broface prompted. "Eagle's Nest was found dead of a heart attack at exactly 0400 hours today. At present our top scientists are determining whether or not he may have been murdered. There are many drugs that are able to kill a victim and make it appear as if they died of natural causes."

"Yes, I've heard of them, but...you're...serious?..." Elise murmured. The elusive Eagle's Nest, dead. She could hardly believe her ears. She had just spoken to Eagle's Nest less than a week ago. When he had asked her infiltrate a military base in the middle of the Arabian desert. Part of her still felt that Broface must have been lying. "What can I do?" she said finally.

"Your mission is to find out if he has any next of kin."

"You're really going to hand his agency over to a guy we don't even know?" Elise inquired. Broface wasn't her superior. He specialized in undercover investigations, but as far as she knew they were of equal rank, she had every right to question his actions if she felt it was necessary.

"Yes and no." Broface replied, "Whether he was murdered or not is irrelevant in this situation. The organization needs a new head and Eagle's Nest, being the _careful _man he was," he said 'careful', but Elise knew that what he meant to say was cynical, or better yet paranoid. A trait that was pretty much as necessity in his line of work. That, and the ability to keep one's lips sealed about certain matters which unfortunately was one of Elise's biggest and only weak points. "left us a will in case he were to be assassinated." He pulled out a slip of paper. "Here's a copy."

As Elise skimmed over the paper, Broface kept talking. "Its not very extensive. It basically states that all his personal belongings shall be divided among his immediate family which includes spouses, siblings and possible descendants. It also says that the agency shall be given to immediate family, only if deemed qualified. Its not very complicated, but the real problem is that we have no idea who his immediate family may be, where they live or even if there are any of them still alive. We would be able to discover those things fairly easily, but unfortunately, we really don't know anything about him. We have made finding his kin our number one priority. Not only because of his will, but because if we find that he was indeed killed-"

"You're afraid that his family might be next. So you want me track them all down so we can take them into custody." Elise finished.

"Yes." Broface nodded. "Him being dead should make it easier for you." He handed her a folder labeled, 'Top Secret!' in big red letters and then in smaller letters 'for clearance level 9+ only'. "This contains a picture of him as well as blood and hair samples so that you may compare DNA with possible suspects." He saluted to her. "Good luck Dancing Shadow."

* * *

**AN: Chapter 1 finished! Eagle's Nest is dead and we finally get to find out exactly who he is!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_Elise vs. Faces_

_Dan vs. Inheritance_

* * *

**Helicopter **

On the helicopter ride back home, Elise took her time to study the contents of the file Agent Broface had given her. There was a picture of the late Eagle's Nest. The photo was a portrait of her late boss with his raven hair made to stick out in all directions and loosing his necktie like a member of some teenage boy band. He had sideburns that reached to just below his ears and green eyes. She raised an eyebrow and wondered were Broface could have gotten a picture like that. She remembered Eagle's Nest tell her that he had once been a model. That would be her first lead. Although she knew it was important to maintain a sense of professionalism during these sorts of missions, she couldn't help, but be curious. She had _known _Eagle's Nest for years without knowing anything and know was her opportunity to find out out her mysterious and apparently really hot, ex-boss.

As she studied to picture she felt that something about him seemed familiar like she had seen his face before. She quickly shook off the feeling. She had seen him once, after all, it was probably just the erased memory resurfacing. Or it could be that she had seen him on coincidence walking down the street or in the supermarket without knowing. Yeah that was probably it.

She had already worked out what she would do when she go home. She needed to find a list of supermodels in California in the last 20- no make it 30 years. It was important to be through. She would then cross out all of them who were women. That would already be more than half. Then of course she would have to take out those who were too young, who didn't have black hair and who were foreigners. That would leave her with a handful of people which she just need to look though one by one and match with the picture. Easy as pie right?

* * *

**Chris's House**

"Ok, so here's the plan" Dan said, his cheek stuffed with blueberry pancakes and maple syrup. "We tie up the producer, kidnap him and then we drive him out to a secret base in the desert and-" Dan was cut off by someone knocking violently on the door. "Argh! What is it now?!"

"I'll get it!" Chris said, leaping from his seat. As usually he didn't like where Dan's plan was going and was eager to postpone going to prison as much as possible.

"A letter for Dan Mandel." the graying man at the door said in a thick British accent. He was dressed in a formal tailcoat and carried a silver serving dish in one hand. The letter in question lay at the center of the dish with a red seal and crest on it.

Dan who was still in the kitchen had overheard the man calling his name. "They know I'm here Chris! We're surround by the enemy! Quickly crush him before he can send for reinforcement!"

"Strange." Chris said, ignoring his friend who was still rambling away in the kitchen. "You don't look like a mailman." He reached for the letter only to have the man pull the dish out of his

"That's because I'm not." the man said in a voice that was filled with utter distaste. "Please call Master Dan here. There is urgent business that must be brought to his attention right away."

"Wait?" Chris was confused, had this guy just called Dan _Master_? And why the tailcoat? The sound of a plate shattering in the kitchen snapped Chris out of his bewilderment.

"Oh come on!" Dan hollered. "Crush him! Stop standing around stupidly!"

Seeing that Chris was just going to stand there and do nothing the graying man spoke up. "Master Daniel! I have an urgent message for you!"

"Daniel?" Chris echoed. The man shot Chris another disapproving glare which caused Chris to back off and chuckle nervously. "Hehe. Well I'll just go get him then."

He headed into the kitchen and returned a moment later, holding Dan by the back of his shirt. The little man roared in protest and struggled. "Don't you dare lay a finger on me! Let go! I will bite!" Chris let him go as soon as they go to the front door. Dan got to his feet and stared up at the man. "What do you want?" he grumbled, rudely.

"I have here a letter here for you, Master Daniel." the man said, lowering the plate. Dan snatched the letter and tore it up with out even blinking an eye.

"Uh Dan?" Chris said. He pointed down at the letter. The envelop had been ripped to shreds, but the contents was still intact. Chris picked up the letter and was surprise to find that someone had printed a message on a piece of thick plastic, as if they had foreseen that Dan would try to tear it up.

Dan gawked, then turned back to the man. "Who sent you!?" he cried, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Chris started reading:

_Dear Daniel Mandel,_

_We regret to inform you of the passing of your father, the late Johnathan Mandel on July 28th, 2013 at approximately 4:00 am. Johnathan Mandel suffered a sudden heart attack and passed before he could reach the hospital. His funeral will be held on August, 3rd 2013 at St. Paul's Church with the Morning Prayer at around 8:00 am. I request you to please be there before time. With bottom of my hearth I prayer to god that his soul may leave in peace._

_Your Faithful Servant,_

_Winston Thurman_

"Who's Winston?" Chris asked.

"That would be me." the man said, bowing.

"Hey Dan. So wha-" Dan was gone. "Dan! This is serious come on you have to go!" Chris knew exactly where Dan was hiding. He opened the door to his bedroom and pulled the sheets aside, revealing Dan who was lying on the ground underneath the bed.

"I'm not going! You can't make me!" Dan shouted.

"Come on Dan. Listen-"

"No! You listen!" Dan cried, darting out from under the bed and standing on his toes in a failed attempt to meet Chris eye to eye. This didn't seem to faze him however and he kept talking. "Its just like him to pull a stupid stunt like this to get me to go back, but oh no, no, he won't get me!" He flashed a maniac grin that showed off his carnivorous choppers.

"Well of course he'd want you back, he's your dad."

"Don't you get it?! Its a trap! My dad is a foreign spy sent here to collect information on government activities!"

"Okay, okay." Chris sighed. He had gotten used to Dan's insane ravings at his point and found that the best way to deal with them was to agree and then prove that it was nonsense using simple logic. "Assuming you're right and he is a spy, why would he want to trap you?"

"Because I know his secret!"

"But he's dead."

"Or so we think!" Dan cried, "Hence, the trap!"

"Dan. Whether or not you liked him, the man is your father and this might be the last chance you get to say goodbye to him. You should at least think about going."

"Excuse me sirs." Winston said. He had let himself inside and was standing in the doorway. "I feel obligated to tell you that if Master Dan does not choose to except his responsibilities as the heir to his father, then his entire fortune as well as his estate will be promptly donated to charity."

Chris looked back and forth between Dan and Winston, Dan gritted his teeth and Winston maintained his bored expression. As usual Dan was the first to snap, "Espionage!"

* * *

**A/N: Free feel to make guess on the Spy Boss :D It is probably obvious at this point. And if not it will be within the next 2 chapters :) happy reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_Chris vs. Limousines_

_Dan vs. Questions_

* * *

Dan grumbled all throughout the car ride, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were in an actually limousine, a point which Chris on the other hand, continued to stressed, almost obsessively. "I can't believe we're actually in a limousine!" Chris cried for the umpteenth billionth time.

He push and pulled the button to open and close the window. He did this continuously for about five or six times before Dan swung his fist at him and landed a punch to Chris's face. "Hey!" Chris cried. Holding a hand to his bruised face.

"Don't pretend you didn't deserve that!" Dan growled and went back to staring out the window and pouting.

"Hey so how come you've never told me anything about your parents?" Chris asked.

"What's to know!?" Dan cried, maybe a bit too loudly. "Mind your own business."

"Oh come on!" Chris insisted. "I tell you everything about me. We've know each other since we were what? Eight? You've been to my house for sleepovers thousands of times, but I didn't come over till you moved in with your grandmother. I've never seen either of your parents."

"My parents got divorced when I was a kid alright?" Dan threw up his arms in frustration. "I haven't seen either of them since I was 12 or so. We weren't really that close."

"What do you mean?" Chris exclaimed, "They're your parents. How can you not be close?"

"Argh! I don't know! What's with all the questions?!" Dan groaned. "They're just my parents aright? After childbirth we're pretty much gone our separate ways."

Chris was silent after that. He didn't quite know how to respond to Dan's statement. After a while he said, "Dan?" He paused for a moment, getting ready to face the consequences of the question he was about to ask. "Are either of your parents still alive?"

Dan was quiet. He didn't move or get angry or punch Chris in the face or say a word. He didn't do anything except continue to stare out the window in silence. Finally he said, "No."

Chris swallowed. Dan had just admitted that his father was dead. After insisting that his Dan had been a spy when they were back at the house. The rest of the ride was spent in complete silence. Chris was so distracted by what Dan had said he didn't noticed the limousine come to a stop and Winston get out, walk around to where they were sitting and open Dan's door and then come around and open his, causing him to loose his balance and fall head first, swallowing a mouth full of dirt.

"Woah!" he gasped, looking up. They had parked in front of a enormous Victorian style mansion with pale blue windows. Even Dan seemed surprised by the structure's massiveness.

"Wow..."

"What do you mean wow?" Chris said, getting up and dusting himself off. "Isn't this your house?"

"No." Dan said. "The place I lived in as a kid was a lot smaller." He frowned, trying to think up an explanation. He grinned when he thought of one, "Its like I always say, marriage is a scam. My Dad gets divorced and now he lives here." He turned to Chris, "Now do you believe that he's a spy?"

"No." Chris said, matter-of-factly. "Just cause someone's rich doesn't make them a spy."

"If he's not a spy, then how do you explain where I got my lucky hand grenade?"

"Oh I don't know, probably the same place you get your crossbars, hatchets, brass knuckles, gas masks and that barrel of nuclear waste you keep in the cabinet under your sink?" Chris replied sarcastically.

"I'll have you know those knucks were a gift from my mother!" Dan cried, indignantly. "And for your information, Wally's Hardware Emporium and Explosive Depot sells many things, but authentic hand grenades from World War II are not one of them. I checked."

"Ok fine!" Chris gave in, "If he is a spy he should have spy stuff in the house right?"

"Of course!"

"Alright then lets go inside and if you can't find anything that means I was right-" Chris looked around. Winston was gone. "Hey where did he go?"

"Who cares?!" Dan said. He bounded up the stairs to the doubles doors of the mansion. He took out a small key and inserted it into the key hole.

"Where did you get that?" Chris asked, pointing at the key.

Dan snickered, "I swiped it off him when he wasn't looking." He opened the double doors and lead Chris inside. The mansion was decorated as if it were still the 70s. The door opened to a grand stair case with red carpets. Hunting trophies and various painting hung from the wall. The couches were old fashioned and had legs that were curled and in the shape of animal feet. "Come on Chris. Every mansion has a secret room where they keep all the secrets! We just have to find it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_Dan vs. Not Touching_

_Elise vs. DNA matching_

_Chris vs. Hunger_

* * *

**Chris's House**

"I can't believe we didn't find anything!" Dan cried. They had searched the mansion all day and hadn't found anything more intimidating then the meat cleavers in the kitchen. When the got dark they tried to get back to Chris's house, but Winston was still nowhere to be seen along with the keys to the limousine. Chris had tried to call Elise to ask her to pick them up, but she wasn't picking up so the two men were forced to walk back into town and take the bus back to Chris's house. Two of Dan's worst pet peeves and for Dan, that was really saying something.

By the time they had gotten back to Chris's house, the miniature man was fuming. As soon as he took one step though the door, the first thing he did was shatter a row of flower pots Elise had neat lined up by the windowsill. "Hey!" Chris exclaimed, "Not cool!"

"What's not cool is the fact that we couldn't find anything. We searched everywhere the basement, the attic, where could it be?!"

"Well... And this is just a theory." Chris said, "Maybe, he's not a spy and you were wrong about this whole thing."

"Don't be stupid." Dan growled, "This is just the beginning. Tomorrow we're going back and I'm going to prove it!"

"No. We are not going back there and wasting another day looking for non-existent evidence that your father is a spy!" Chris cried. "I have to work tomorrow and on Saturday we're going to go your Dad's funeral."

"Argh!" Dan growled. "Blocks at every turn!" He did a facepalm. "Fine!" he said, "I'll go back myself! But when my face shows up on a milk carton. I'll be my turn to say 'I told you so!'!"

Dan pouted and stared to walk out towards the garage. Elise as there working at some sort of machine. Nothing new there, she was always doing something or other with a supercomputer, or a genome-reorganizer or something. "Hey gorgeous." Chris said, "What are you working on?" He felt obligued to ask this even though he never really understood any of it.

Elise was smart. And Chris... was just about average. He had always been about average at just about everything. Average and school, sports, art, music. The only thing he wasn't average at was probably basket weaving. That and his taste in friends... evidently.

"Just a little DNA experiment." Elise replied. "What's wrong with Dan?" Elise found Dan irritating at best, but she needed to change the topic of conversation. She had spent several hours searching for Eagle's Nest's identity and had at last found a face that matched the picture she had in the February 1977 catalog titled, _"Summer Styles." _only to find that he had worked under a fake name. After that dead end, she had no other alternative then to collect blood samples and try to match one with the vial she had gotten from HQ.

"He's upset I won't help him prove his Dad is a spy." Chris said.

"A spy?" Elise said, doubtfully.

"Yeah. I told him I couldn't do it so I'm driving him home." Chris said. "I'll be back in half an hour." He reached into his pocket. "Oh I forgot my keys."

Dan watched Chris leave then said, "Its like that every time!" he shouted, "When he's talking to you he always acts like I'm not there. Its really annoying!" He looked over at Elise's device and reached out one hand to give it a poke. Only to have Elise slap his hand away before he could touch it.

"Don't even think about it!" she said.

"What is that thing?"

"Its a DNA sequencer." Elise explained, "It compares DNA samples as tells you if they're similar."

"Oh." Dan said, plainly. He watched as the machine began calculating. After a few seconds a red _"0%"_ flashed on a screen.

Elise got up to fetch another case of blood samples from the closet while Dan scrutinized the machine. "Hey what's this thing?" There was little metal bump built into the machine directly above the spot where the vials of blood were placed. He reached for it and it jabbed his finger with a single sharp motion. "Ow!" Dan cried. His finger was bleeding.

"Its your own fault I told you not to touch-" she stared at the machine. _"50% match"_ flashed in green.

"Cool." Dan said. He turned to Elise, "H-HEY!" he stammered as Elise jabbed a taserblade into his side. As he feel to the ground, unconscious, Elise took out the picture of Eagle's Nest. Why hadn't it occurred to her earlier?! She knew she had seen that face before. His raven hair, sideburns and emerald green eyes all reminded her of one person... Dan.

* * *

**Chris's House (20 minutes later...)**

Chris opened the door to garage. Little crumbles of lemon bar clung to his shirt. "Hey Dan! Sorry it took so long I got really hungry-" He looked around the garage. Elise was gone and so was Dan. The car was still there so they couldn't have gone too far. Chris shrugged. Dan had probably gone tired of waiting and just decided to walk home. He was upset, but Chris would just have to work it all out after work, he had been wandering around all day and was completely exhausted. He went to bed, without even noticing that Elise's taserblade was still laying on the ground, emitting little pluses of static.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_Dan vs. Straight Jackets_

_Broface vs. Dan_

_Elise vs. Secrets_

* * *

**Helicopter**

Elise still couldn't believe it. Dan was Eagle's Nest's son?! How did someone like Dan end up being the son of one of the most dangerous and powerful men on the planet? But the DNA test didn't lie. She looked at the photograph again. Even if it did, there was no mistaking that face. In retrospect, the whole thing seemed totally obvious and she was still rather angry that she hadn't been able to figure it out sooner. Her only saving grace was that Dan wasn't remotely like his father, personality wise anyways. Although her relationship with Eagle's Nest had been strictly professional, being a spy required focus, discipline and quickly thinking all qualities Dan lacked. All the same, she felt pity for him. His father was dead and he had trained assassins aiming at him from their high power snipers.

Suddenly the screen on the control panel lit up. "Dancing Shadow." Agent Broface said, "Did you find him?" He spotted Dan and nodded, "Good work Dancing Shadow. Get back to HQ, ASAP."

* * *

**HQ**

"Where are you people taking me!" Dan cried. He opened his eyes and bolted upright, only to fall back down into a horizontal position, or rather a vertical one, for when he looked around he saw that he was hanging upside down and bound by a straight jacket. "I will not be trapped like a rat!" he hollered swinging back and forth from a rope that was tied on one end around his ankles and the other end to the ceiling.

He was in a padded room. Well, that wasn't totally true. There was a window on one wall, but when he looked through it he only saw blackness. It was a one way window. No doubt bullet-proof as well.

Although Dan could see them, on the other side of the window stood Elise and Broface. "What did you say his name was?"

"Dan." Elise replied. "To be exact, Daniel Mandel, but we just call him Dan."

"We."

"He's my husband's best friend."

"What a fortunate coincidence." Broface said, "So did you find out what his father's name was?"

"No, that's still a mystery" Elise said, "It seemed that he was using a fake name and working as a model in Los Angeles around 35 years ago. That's all the info I was able to find on him. He must have destroyed everything else after he joined the organization."

Broface typed Dan's name into a computer. "Dan Mandel. Age 28. Date of Birth, October 31th 1985. Currently unemployed. Relatives... nothing. It says he did have an uncle who served in the navy, but he's long dead." Elise remembered the time Dan had tried to get Chris to stop playing golf. He had dug up his uncle's grave and stolen his uniform.

She looked back at Dan who was still struggling in the straight jacket. "Is this really necessary?" Elise asked. Dan was dangerously unstable and once he went off on one of his tangents, he was harder to calm then a crocodile with a cavity.

"I just want to test if he has what it takes." Broface said, "And this is the easiest way to do it. If he has any of his father's talent, he should be able to get out, no trouble."

"Test him?" Elise echoed. "What is this some sort of a lame action movie?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Why don't we leave him out there as bait and use him to lure whoever this assassin is into coming out, I'm sure I can take him." she said, punching the palm of her hand.

They watched as Dan tried to do a sit-up, which was harder than it sounded, given his suspend state. "He's got the right idea, but I don't think he'll be able to get out." Broface said and started to leave.

Elise on the other hand kept watching. She had once locked Dan inside a locker and he had managed to somehow chew his way out without shattering his teeth. She watched Dan snag the straight jacket with his unnaturally sharp teeth and tear though it like a piece of soggy paper. He tore the jacket apart bit by bit and spit each piece out onto the floor. Soon he had torn the entire jacket apart.

"That's one way to do it I guess." Broface shrugged. On his face was an expression of confusion and, for lack of a better word, disgust. "He's determined at least."

"Stubborn is more like it." Elise grumbled under her breath as Dan untied the rope around his legs and fell to the ground with a thud. He got up almost instantly and charged at the glass, slamming into it with a, "Argh!" of frustration.

Broface leapt backwards in horror, but Elise barely flinched. She was used to Dan's antics by now. "Did his head make that sound?!" he cried, "What the hell does he think he's doing?! This glass his bullet-proof he can't break it. Not with his head at least."

"My husband had the back doors of our car replaced with maxi glass and he got through that too." Elise said.

Dan charged the glass a second time, causing the six inch thick glass to crack. "I'm going to kill you Elise!"

"Fortunately he's mostly bark and not much bite." Elise said and immediantly regreted her choice of words. Dan bit, a lot.

"Ah ha!" Dan cried, ash he burst through the glass, sending shards of it flying everywhere. "The truth is revealed!" He looked around, confused for a moment and pointed at Broface, "Who's that?" However, his confusion quickly faded and was replaced with a smug smiled, "This is quite the fisherman's convention wouldn't you say Elise?"

"What is he talking about Dancing Shadow?"

"Nothing." Elise said quickly.

Broface raised an eyebrow turned back to Dan, "Dan, I'm Agent Broface-"

"Broface!?" Dan growled and his face went red with anger. "You're that guy!" he cried, pointing at him, "You wrecked my car! And you worked for that stupid governor guy!"

"I was working undercover!" Broface retorted, "And you and that friend of yours blew 10 months of investigation in one day!"

"Why were you even undercover!?" Dan protested, "I got rid of that guy in one day while you sat at a desk, eating up tax dollars and doing nothing!"

"I was investigating to see what they were doing!"

"Okay, wise guy." Dan shouted, "What did you find out?"

"Nothing because you blew my cover!"

"I exposed him and made him leave!"

"And now he's in China!" Broface shouted.

"Who cares!" Dan barked, "China is filled with Communists! Wasn't that the point of that Winter War? Or something... And what's with the kidnapping? If you wanted to talk to me why couldn't you have written me a letter?"

"Cause you don't check your mail." Elise but in.

"Irrelevant!" Dan cried, "I have been abducted, shanghaied, Dan-napped!"

Broface took several deep breaths and said in a calmer tone, "Dan, we brought you here-"

"To tell me that my dad's a spy, Elise is a spy and this is a huge spy organization, I know." Dan interrupted.

"What do you mean you know?!" Elise cried.

"Why are you so surprise?!" Dan asked, defensively, "You've said it like a thousand times. Both up front and using the cover of fishing metaphors." Broface looked over at Elise who blushed with embrassment. "So can I go home now? I'm going to miss my stories." Dan whined.

"He means his shows." Elise explained.

"Not to mention Mr. Mumbles is probably hungry."

"Cat." Elise translated.

"Dan." Broface said, "I feel you don't understand the urgency of this situation. This morning your dad was murdered."

"Murdered." Elise echoed in an inaudible tone. They had confirmed it.

"As of yet we don't know who did it or if it was an inside hob, but we think you might be their next target. "So we are assigning Dancing Shadow here to be your bodyguard."

"What!?"

* * *

**A/N: I realized that this story has a few plot holes, but don't worry they are all intentional and I will reveal all of exactly what is up soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_Dan vs. Feelings_

* * *

**Helicopter  
**

"I can't believe this! I've training in combat since I was seven, pilot every machine, handled every weapon know to man and now I'm somehow stuck being your babysitter!" Elise complained.

"I prefer the term _bodyguard_." Elise raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" Dan said, innocently, "They can't risk having me killed can they? I'm precious!"

"Let me make this clear!" Elise shouted, "We're only doing this to find out who killed our boss, it has nothing to do with you!"

"Well evident it does."

"You know what I mean!"

"Hey its not like this has been a picnic for me either!" he said as he started counting offenses on his fingers, "You tazered me, kidnapped me and tied me up, just to tell me about stuff I already knew!"

"You knew that your dad was dead?"

"Duh!" Dan said, "Some guy came to your house this morning and gave me a letter and then we went to his house. I though Chris told you that already!"

"Wait. What man?"

"I don't know. Just some guy. He said he was the butler, but he disappeared as soon as he drove us to the house. Jerk, you know he didn't even leave his keys, Chris and I had to walk back. If I ever see that guy again I swear-"

"But how did he know your father was dead?" Elise realized. "He died while he was at our head quarters. He wouldn't have know about it unless-"

"He was one of you!" Dan finished. "I'm surrounded by traitors and turncoats!"

"We don't know that." Elise said. "He could be on our side. The first thing we're going to do tomorrow is to look for that butler. Whether he's with or against us he's bound to be involved. There's no way he could have know about your father's death."

The first thing we're going to do, is find out who knocked off the old man." Dan said, with an air of determination that surprised Elise. Dan had always been exceptionally stubborn, but concern for someone other than himself seemed a bit out of character for him. "Whoever it is, is bound to be after me next! So I'll just have to get them before they get me! I don't plan on getting sacked, but they're going get theirs." he said, then yawned. "We'll do that in the morning. I'm taking your couch." he added. He got out of the helicopter as it landed and headed towards the house before Elise stopped him halfway.

"You are no to say a word to Chris ok? He can't know about my job or anything else."

Dan slapped her hand away, "Fine, fine! Just make sure you don't tell him. You talk about it all the time! I'm surprised the whole neighborhood doesn't know!"

* * *

**Chris's House**

Dan lay on the couch. He felt uncomfortable through he didn't know why. He hadn't even bothered to wake Chris up and boast how he had been right all along. Right now revenge was the last thing on his mind whether it was for his father, against him, or against whoever had done him in. It was weird. He barely knew anything about his father. He hadn't even seen him since he was... twelve? And now he was gone. He didn't really have any feelings about it. He didn't feel sad, angry or anything, just bothered. It was like a mosquito bite that just kept on getting more swollen as you scratched it.

He tossed and turned for hours on the couch until he finally lost his patience and tossed the pillow on the ground and started stomping on it. "Stupid feelings!" he cried, gritting his teeth. He slapped himself in the face. He needed to clear his head.

Dan walked into the kitchen an opened the refrigerator. "Nothing like some lactose free milk and cookies." He poured himself a glass and sat down. His dad wasn't dead he was sure of that. And that Broface, he was suspicious. He didn't know what it was, but if he was dealing with spies and killers then everyone was a possible suspect, even Elise.

He finished off the glass of milk. Suddenly a realization struck him, just as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. "Wait... this is Chris's place. He doesn't keep lactose free-" He fell to the ground, clutching his stomach. "milk..."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever guys! I know you all want to see how it ends, but I promise to update more frequently. If you want, check out some of my other fanfictions. I have a Dan vs. one-shot titled, "Son of a Jerk". Thanks for being so patient!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

_Dan vs. Poison_

_Chris vs. Silence_

* * *

**Chris's House**

"Dan what are you doing?" Chris cried. "Is that a hatchet?" He had woken up to find Dan marching up and down the hall, swinging a hatchet through the air and nearly decapitating Chris as he stepped out of his room.

"Finally!"

"We're you up all night?" Chris asked. "And were did you get that hatchet?"

"First of all it not a hatchet, it's an axe, hatchets are for woodcutters." Dan said, "And second, make me breakfast, then we're going back to the mansion."

"I already told you no!" Chris said, "I'm going to work today."

"But I can prove my dad is a spy." Dan cried, "A foreign spy has slipped into the country and now they're trying to kill me!"

"Wait." Chris said, "Yesterday you were saying that your dad was the foreign spy and he was trying to kill you. How did you get there from-" Dan dropped the axe. It landed with a thud and impaled itself several inches into the wooden floor.

"Dan!" Chris exclaimed, "You just ruined my floor!"

"Focus!" Dan cried, "After breakfast, we're going back to the estate! Which reminds me next time you go shopping get lactose free milk only!"

"I already did."

"What?!"

"I said I already did." Chris said, walking into the kitchen and pouring himself a bowl of milk and cereal. "After you poisoned yourself last week I replace all the diary in the house with lactose free versions. Your welcome."

"Lies and deceit!" Dan shouted.

"Why would I lie about that?!"

"I had a glass from your refrigerator last night and I had to run immediately home for my allergy medication."

"You ran all the way back to your house?" Chris said. He was surprised. Usually when Dan consumed diary he would be incapacitated for hours on the floor.

"No of course no! Why would I run when I have a perfectly good car."

"But your car's back at your place."

"I didn't mean _my_ car you hack!" Dan growled.

"How did you use my car? I have the key!"

Dan waved a key in front of Chris's face, "I made copies." Chris snatched the key out of Dan's hands. "Hello! I said _copies_!"

"You know some day we're going to have a talk about boundaries!" Chris said, "And how did you manage to drive all the way home without trashing my car?"

"I didn't."

Chris's eyes widen. He ran to the window of the living room. "Dan!" he cried when he saw his car lying in a heap in the driveway.

"Hey! I my defense I had the car towed back as soon as I got my medicine instead of just leaving it in the middle of the hippy neighborhood."

"You wreaked my car!"

"And you poisoned me!" Dan cried, "So let's think for a moment who's really to blame here!"

"Neither of you." a voice said. The two friends turned. Elise walked into the living room with the carton of milk in one hand and a pair of goggles on her face. "This isn't lactose free."

"Ah ha!"

"But the carton says it is!" Chris pointed out.

"True. Someone must have switched the lactose free milk with 100% cream." Elise stared at Dan, who looked back at here. They weren't trying to kill him. Not yet. For now, they were just sending him a warning. They knew where he was...

* * *

**Chris's Car**

On the road back to the estate, Elise and Dan both sat in the car quietly while Chris asked questions non-stopped in the back seat. "Can someone remind me why I'm here again?"

"He just doesn't stop does he?" Dan said finally.

"Tell me about it." Elise grumbled.

"Hey!" Chris cried, "Who's side are you on?! And why did you bring your sword with you?!"

"We're almost there." Elise said, ignoring him completely.

"And you!" Chris said, turning to Dan. "You've been oddly quiet through this whole drive. In fact the both of you have and I get the feeling you both know something that I'm just not getting so can either of you fill me in for once!"

"Wow." Dan said, as the car came to a halt. He opened the car door and stepped out. "You have some serious issues. You should see someone about that."

Realizing that neither of them would ever spill the bean Chris sighed and decided to wait for the truth to eventually reveal itself, as it usually did.

* * *

**Mandell Estate**

As the trio stepped inside the enormous estate, Elise looked around in awe at the lavish furnishings and gorgeousness decorated rooms. Even the fact that most of the furniture in the mansion was old enough to be considered antique, the house did not feel old-fashioned or drab in the least. Instead, it felt more like a museum, a museum which held the memories of the extraordinary man who once dwelt inside it.

She didn't allow the mansion's grand style to distract her, however. She was better trained then that. Which is why she was the first to noticed the assassin watching them from the chandler on the ceiling.

"Everybody down!" she cried, diving for the ground and flinging two of her throwing stars a the string that held up the hired gun. One of the stars cut the line holding the chandelier up and the other knocked the poison dart gun out of the killer's hand. She caught a glance of Chris and Dan ducking into a room at the opposite side of the hall just because the chandelier came crashing down, spraying glass over the carpet.

The assassin leapt gracefully off the fallen chandelier, completely unharmed and darted for the door, moving with almost inhuman speed. Instead of opening the door and escaping, he changed direction at the last minute and jumped out a window, adjacent.

"Oh come on! The door was right there!" Dan cried. Then he added in a louder tone, "Next time USE IT!"


End file.
